Insight By Jael

It's interesting how seasons works and they for sure do not last. Especially the bad ones. First quarter of the year was that bad season for me. Hospitalised with anaemia of 4.6 due to extreme blood loss during my periods and Open myomectomy surgery in the same month. Let's not talk about the experience in theatre and in that twenty days post op. My healing journey has been so smooth and I am really, reallyyy questioning my whole menstrual health situation. I might have suffered for far too long for far too many years. I think my situation only escaleted about two years prior the surgery but started around the years that I first got menses. Being a girl is hard and tiring. Especially a girl with menstrual health issues. We've seen how endometriosis is becoming a thing now especially since a lot of women are now openly talking about it. Fibroids and cysts are also very common and it still shocks me how many people I've met and talked to who've done either open myomec...

 I am back again after I stopped reading books in March because my life almost ended. Since I'm now healed, lets get back to business. The Kite Runner  This book is phenomenal, amazing, thought provoking and everything good. It explains trauma well, has all sorts of violence and i never knew I'd be so intrested in historical fiction especially one that is based on Afghanistan history. Now my new interest in books is on historical fiction. I've loved non-fiction for long because you get to learn a lot especially since I'm big on self-development, and personal growth and also since my career as a psychologist expects me to read a lot of that. So, the kite runner. I love the author of this book Khaled Hosseini. I love how he brings out his characters. The story is based in Afghanistan from a boy called Amir, talks about his baba and their servant whose son happened to be Amir's step brother. The book is full of grief, trauma, violence, including sexual violence, war, p...

 I'm four months post myomectomy now, please clap for me. I never saw myself past week three post theatre. Those first three weeks were overwhelming especially the third week.  Today, at month five, the pain is long forgotten and i even almost forgot the name of my OB-gyna that tells me that I've really healed. First of all, let's all shout BETTER DAYS!  No, infact let's chant BETTER DAYS! BETTER DAYS! BETTER DAYS! I'm definitely in my better days and in my most perfect days. You know what I love the most about being fibroid free? Freedom... Free from anxiety, free from overbleeding, free from over spending money on pads and painkillers, free from more than 4days of blood flow, free from the mental and physical tiredness that comes with heavy menses, free from counter checking if i messed up, free from taking impromptu taxis home after heavy clots that flow freely past clothes, free from planning my fucking days around my period Free from a miserable like that almos...

I can't believe I am now a full adult member of the society. I'm twenty-eight... just like that. I'm two years away from turning thirty. My 23 and 25yr old self must be amazed at how I changed. The dreams and goals that I had changed so much. I gave up on some dreams and took up others. I am way more exposed than I was before. I now dream even bigger because i know that I can aim for more and get it. I am more self-aware and I made peace with who I am. I stopped questioning God on why he made me like this and not like that. I love who I am now and I am more linient on myself when I feel threatened by someone else's personality and capabilities by reminding myself that I am equally an amazing and incredible person like them, maybe not in the same way but in different ways. My career is more firm than before, I'm not there yet but I am almost there. I decided to focus more on grief and trauma and mental health advocacy cause that's where my strength is. I'm ea...

 I honestly never knew I would ever reach this far into healing post surgery. I was so fixated on the experience I got in the hospital pre theatre, during and post theatre. Now none of those thing matter anymore because life went back to normal and I am healed but I keep feeling guilty for forgetting such an experience yet it was a big part of my life. At 12 weeks post op, my menses went back to a perfect normal. I now have a three day period and my period flow reduced by about 80%. I am more productive on my second day of my period and my quality of life improved by far. I am now questioning my whole menstrual health because I cant remember the last time I was this productive. My menstrual problem seem to have started way before I thought it did.  My scar is now more like a scar and less like an incision. I can now jump, run and move around more. Now I feel like my dreams are valid, like I can go after what I want without constantly thinking about excessive bleeding, seven to...

 I can't believe I made it this far in my healing journey post a major surgery. This can only be God and it really does get easier with time. I did myomectomy surgery to remove apparently a 12cm fibroid(considered big) that almost took me out with severe anaemia beginning of March. I never saw myself as someone who would one day go to theatre for anything leave alone hospital admission. I was okay on that Wednesday morning and was admitted by the end of the day. Life has been good, I am now more stronger and more independent. I've resumed my normal routines and even went back to work. My incision looks more like a scar and a permanent mark of the battles I had with fibroids. I can now comfortably use matatu, cross roads, walk more steadily, get in and out of bed comfortably, sleep on my stomach, wear trousers, shower comfortably and move around comfortably. I had a very good surgeon, the surgery went well and my healing hasn't been hectic. I've had a smooth healing proc...