Fornicating?

(source: Frontline AIDS)

 Throw those stones at me please, I have good health insurance cover that is not even active, thanks.

I know I would have chosen a better name for this but I did not, it's just an English name, stop stigmatizing it. Well, one of the greatest things that we are proud of in this generation, especially among Gen Z is the free will to do whatever you want to do. This has got both negative and positive impacts.

One of them is personal decisions in regard to sexuality. To be honest, this is not the time when you will tell your kids or others to abstain till marriage. I am still of the opinion that sex should wait until marriage but let's talk about why keep it and how to keep that fruit till marriage. Let me keep the why and how for another day.

Let's talk about the act itself, you are already there. First, I am not judging anyone in this as I said, we are in a time where we are free to choose whatever we want to do with our bodies. I however have a few tips if you are already in or you are planning to join the club.

Before you get into fornication, have some goals, why are you getting into it? Why do you want to have sex? Then take yourself through some risk factors associated with it. Also who and where will you get this sex? Most of the time people do not get to choose when they want to start having sex, it just happens, then the guilt of making out the first time will lead you to explore more

I am not in any way trying to promote sin here and if you think so, please check yourself if you are okay.

Let us start with the goals, are you going for it because you want a child, saying this because there's a trend of people only wanting kids without having to get married or stay in a committed relationship, or some partners will agree to give birth and parent the children without getting married or committing to each other (interesting time to exist ). Are you looking forward to having fun, exchanging it for money or is it peer pressure and exploring. What about the risk factors, have you thought of the infections like sexually transmitted diseases that include HIV? or the possibility of being killed by these relationship triangles?

Go through them carefully before jumping into it. Most of the time once you start having sex, that is it, no going back you will always want more and more and even more. So, here are some pointers if you are looking forward to starting this journey.

1. Girl, man... who are you making out with? People out here are not good at all, especially if you look vulnerable and innocent. I also think you should make out with someone you trust kidogo, ata kama sio sana. Not someone who will end up abusing you or criticizing you. Someone also who you will be open to talking about these sexual issues, like what you feel is best for you and what they did that you did not like.

2. Protection is key; always use protection and if you are a lady, always insist on him using a condom. Make it a deal breaker when he shows up without one. A condom is a two-way protection, against STDs and against pregnancies. Don't risk because of 2 minutes of pleasure, having sex without protection is not cool. Also, if you are a risk taker, do HIV test after every three months. In case of a virus infection, you will be able to start using drugs early, hence your viral load will be suppressed, and you will not spread or be at risk of cross-infection and the progression of HIV to AIDS will be longer.

3. Have one partner;  having multiple partners will increase your chances of getting sexually transmitted infections and HIV. You will also be increasing your chances of getting killed if you get into some sex triangle, say another woman realizing you are making out with her husband or boyfriend.

4. Research on family planning options; there are lots of family planning options that are within our reach. Most government facilities offer these options at minimal to no cost. If you feel you can't control your sexual urge and cannot wait till marriage, go for it. You can even google some of these options yourself. There are some that do not even need you to swallow or insert anything in your body and one of them is using condoms.

5. Read as much as possible about sex; educate yourself, bro, it is no sin to read sexual-related content especially if you are married. I am not saying eti you now start watching porn. Porn can be scripted and edited which can interfere with what sex itself looks like. Read more, talk to your partner about exploring new things, and always communicate your needs.

Being sexually active, especially before marriage is a choice you make alone, as you choose, know that there are consequences to it. You will also want to be smart at it, educate yourself more, do not just deep dive into it without thinking. Know what you are getting yourself into.

I hope you found this helpful...