Grief can be funny...

Grief can be funny. 

My Grandmother passed on close to six years ago now and I recently found myself crying and missing her.

I realised how great of a woman she was from my childhood years when she would take care of me in my pre primary school years till her death.

There are days I would visit her in her house before she moved in to stay with us. Her house was like heaven on earth even though it was a ka_grass thatched kitchen and a separate semi permanent living room and bedroom.

She always had a lot of milk, cream and a house that smelled like home. Her ugali tasted good and the taste was constant no matter what. She would tell beautiful stories of her childhood and that of her children especially my dad. 

Her laughter and her smile was splendid. She had a beautiful body and an amazing skin. A woman who loved herself better that anyone else. She was sweet only if you were on her team, and you wouldn't want to be on her list of enemies something that our last born sister took over from her. 

In my early pre teen years, I would sleep with her when sleeping over at her house until one day when I got to her house and found my mattress prepared out for me. The decision to buy an extra mattress was because a neighbour slept over at her place and left kimitek(lice in Nandi) in her bed and swore never to sleep with anyone again including me(sadly).

She had all the good characters,  but she also had her negatives especially after old age and sickness caught up with her.  In her prime years, she would always come back from the market with some panties for me until when she was not even able to walk for some metres alone. I would always get pocket money for my boarding school and highschool days.

She was a baby girl, she loved clean sheets, clean bedding. Her blankets were always clean. She always wanted her sufurias to be washed to perfection. Her life style was giving baby girl treatment and princess life. 

Money and life failed her. If she had money, she would probably be living in a bungalow house with all the electrical appliances that exists in the world. She would be having all she nice things including a swimming pool, a hammock, and maybe two house maids and a personal shouffer driving most probably a benz or a BMW. 

She was just an amazing, wonderful and blessed woman. I look a little more like her physically and I still get people who upto date tell me I remind them of her.

I looked after her at some point in the hospital when she was admitted and I was lucky enough to take take care of her when she was not able to do anything. 

I was not home when she passed on but I am lucky I got to know her, live with her, taken care of by her, take care of her, and know who she was. I still mourn her death six years later but I am sure she rested and she is still resting well.

Time definitely doesn't heal, healing happens with time when we also put in the work towards healing. To some point I feel like I assumed my grief and I felt like her death was not such a big deal. But I now realise it was something and writing this helps me release my emotions.

Thank you for reading and if you are grieving, may you find strength and healing.

Love and hugs.