Insight By Jael

  Am I the only one who get scared when turning a year older? Is it the pressure to look like we have it all together or what's it all about? Listen, I am turning 26years old in a few days and I am not as scared as I was when I was turning twenty five. Twenty-six sounds chilled and relaxed, but yoooh twenty-seven sounds biig and crazy af. Twenty-seven sounds like a real adult year. It sounds like thirty but with different digits, like a three zero with a two seven. Let me not think that far, Twenty-six sounds amazing and I am not as excited about it. I have this calm feeling about it, that everything is going to turn out well. I have a feeling that I am going to rock my 26th year. I am ready for the great amazing things that are going to happen and I am also ready for the challenges and I am also not expecting lot's of failures. I mean, is it wrong to be so fed up with failures to a point of praying and manifesting a life less of failures? I am tired of failing, I only want c...

Grief can be funny.  My Grandmother passed on close to six years ago now and I recently found myself crying and missing her. I realised how great of a woman she was from my childhood years when she would take care of me in my pre primary school years till her death. There are days I would visit her in her house before she moved in to stay with us. Her house was like heaven on earth even though it was a ka_grass thatched kitchen and a separate semi permanent living room and bedroom. She always had a lot of milk, cream and a house that smelled like home. Her ugali tasted good and the taste was constant no matter what. She would tell beautiful stories of her childhood and that of her children especially my dad.  Her laughter and her smile was splendid. She had a beautiful body and an amazing skin. A woman who loved herself better that anyone else. She was sweet only if you were on her team, and you wouldn't want to be on her list of enemies something that our last born sister too...

Life after college leaves you questioning your capability to navigate through the joblessness and entrepreneurial streets. Job hunting has never been fun, sending out CVs and using the little connections you have to get a job can be hectic and discouraging. And in as much as job hunting isn’t easy, getting into the entrepreneurial field is nothing near easy or a walk in the park. In short, the process of earning money is hard. I am in a season of questioning my capability to earn money especially by having my own projects or businesses. I know of family, friends and even people on social media who are thriving in their either big or small businesses. I never thought I would be in a space where I would give entrepreneurship a thought until recently where I have had to work on a family project. First, this field is not for the faint hearted, and I do not even know where I am at. I do not know if I can handle the thought of putting up a business with a hope that I am going to get clients....

  This is my third week of being jobless, and I can't even imagine some people have survived a year, not even a month, of being jobless. Job seeking is hard. Job seeking will have you scrolling on LinkedIn for hours and switching between several job listing platforms on Google and social media pages. The most tiring part is it's not easy to get your preferred job, so you always have to go back to your resume to edit it to fit the position that you randomly found on the internet. Sometimes you do not even find anything that fits your skills for days, and you are left questioning your existence. It has been a hectic few weeks for me. My mental health has been tested. In a day, I can move from being highly motivated and in good terms with life to being overly stressed and hopeless. My stress levels elevate every time I find myself in a financial crisis or when I get too idle. Idleness will have you thinking about things like being old enough to be working and not idling in your fa...

If there's an after life, I would prefer to be anything but female. They say pregnancy can humble you but my opinion is, being a woman generally humbles you. Tell me why being on your periods is annoying and so inconvenient. As if having some blood flow out of your body three to six days in a month is not enough, they also decide to come with some cramping, bloating, discomfort, mood swings, back pains, diarrhea, add yours. That is not even enough, the prices of these period products are insane and that's double price if your periods sometimes go longer than 4days or yours are heavy. And tell me why using a sanitary towel is so uncomfortable. Not just that, it's even hard to find a brand that fits well with your skin. I know other products like tampons and menstrual cups but their prices sha!  Just imagine a girl from a family that is struggling to put food on the table. A family that cannot afford to buy sanitary towels and some tissues and what if they have no access to e...

Let's talk about life after school and how hard it is to just breathe in peace leave alone surviving. Especially some months post graduation. These are the days when you realise that people who take their own lifes and those who decide to look into some funny ways to get money are actually better off and they do have a point. Another thing is, it's never even entirely about the money. It's when you realise that most of your friends are already working, decided to further their studies and others moved out of the country.  Don't get me wrong though, I am not a fan of comparison. But I'm human, I'll still find myself asking myself what I'm doing wrong cause others seem to be figuring life well and better than me. Not only that, this is the period when most age mates start getting married or getting kids and you're also left wondering if you still exist or you're some spirit that died centuries ago. Okay, it's not that I've been unlucky when it ...

All I want, Is to be able to write my blogs, In a quiet room full of scented candles Or a room with indoor plants. With a beautiful aquatic blue couch And an old coffee table from the west. And a stylish bookshelf full of non-fiction books And maybe several fiction books. A room with a cute fluffy carpet, With walls painted all white With fine art that beautifies the space.   All I want, Is to be able to express myself, Without the feeling of being judged And without the feeling of being left out. I want to be able to stand up In big spaces that accommodate me, And my idea of life. And before that, I want to create that space for myself. A space where I feel comfortable about myself And about the things that I can do And the things that I can also not do.   Again, all I want Is to exist in a manner that I am made to exist Not to live below my standard Not to accept the bear minimum Not to sit on the current success. But to pursue more, To work for more, To pray for more, To ho...